A special piece for my favorite freaks....

Never have regrets, because at one moment it was exactly what you wanted.
Life is too short anyways so you must live to the fullest, and don't forget, not everyone will love you and not everyone will hate you, but they will all know your name.

Have fun, my babies... XOXO

I'll be in the dark for a very long time...

Someone once asked me...

"Have you ever just sat outside and try to slow everything down.
Just to sit out there and do nothing but look at what is around you?"
I sat there, and thought of all the times I had. Laying in my grass, with the sun shining on my face, and the breeze blowing my hair. I would lay for hours, or until my mom called me in; just laying in the grass, watching the world turn. The sad thing is I only took the time to slow things down when I was fed up and done; done with the world and it's worries, done with life, done with it all. I never took the time to look around me because I was to busy watching everthing pass me by. I was always chasing something; some moment in time that I knew I would never grasp. As I came to this sad realization, I couldn't help but feel like I was chasing the wrong things. I would chase everything except the things worth the time and effort. I always ended up empty handed, and oddly determined that the next wouldn't escape. The next and the next, they all went through like water pouring though a drain. Time was wizzing down the drain, and all I could do was watch it twril. Sitting with my computer in my lap, I wanted to weep. Weep for the times lost and the regets I had chased. Like the rays of light bouncing off my hair, I stood up and went outside. I was fed up and done with the world and it's worries, life in general, and the latest "dream" lost. I took my laptop, and here I sit. One question was all it took to wake me up. One simple question to spark the life that had slept for so long. My fingers glide across my slick keys, and my ears perk as birds sing and woodsaws buzz. Looking around now, I now know what I should be chasing, what is actually worth catching. Peace. Wind through my hair. Sun on my skin. I shouldn't be chasing life, but letting life chase me. As I type the last sentences, I can't help but feel incredibly small. In some ways feeling small helps to show you how little you do actually have worry about, and that being small in such a big world is quite alright.

(A special thanks to a certain muse who helped "wake me up" in a sense.)

"Rain" by Jon Heintz

This song has broken my heart. I heard it on Flashpoint tonight, and I felt something inside me brake. As a tear rolled down my cheek, I realized that it was my heart. I don't know why exactly, but I had to research the song on Google and then on Youtube. I had to know the name and the artist, the man who had broken me. I found it on Youtube and couldn't help but feel like sharing this amazing "pain" on my blog. This song has done what most try, and most fail. I can't help but feel drawn to this song. My soul has been hurting for so long now, and I couldn't cry, or even show the pain. My heart had to be torn for my eyes and my mind to mourn for my soul.

"Mon coeur est triste. Pourquoi êtes-vous triste, mon coeur?
Mon coeur porte le deuil pour mon âme. Pourquoi je ne peux pas porter le deuil, aussi?" -Ginna Blankenship: April 9, 2009

If you don't understand my silence, you can't understand my words...

En Fuego

Razors cut deep into flesh, but my cuts from your words lay deeper in my soul and I fear they might never heal. I've been put on more than one block,and now I know that yours will be my last. I will not stand for it any longer, therefore, I bid you a farewell. A farewell that will be as eternal as the words spoken by Jesus on the mount. They will live in infamy, resting in your mind as it tries to comprehend how something so perfect could end so quickly. You have always been on the throne, but now you are only the king of a broken kingdom and a burnt heart. I am not going to crush you like you crushed me; instead I will watch from a distance as you destroy yourself. Your blood will not stain my hands, but the throne you clung to so tightly. You were so afraid of losing your "power," that you lost it all due to your greed, and were betrayed by your own pride. Your blood will flow of your own accord, but only after the guilt has eaten you to a hollow shell. You will sit on your broken kingdom and wander your empty halls, trying to connect the all too many dots that foretold your grief. The pain and lonesomeness will consume you like a wildfire, till all that remains is the ash of a once great fool. As you burn, call out my name as I did yours. Call for me in the darkness as burn. Burn for me, like I once burned for you.

Ave Maria

This song breaks my heart everytime I hear it. It needs no words to describe its wonder.

Quote of the Day

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebs - Collage - Morph

Ultimate Anti-Poster Child

Just when you have me figured out, I'll change. Just when you think that there's nothing left, you'll have more than you thought. Don't think I'm giving up if my head is hung, I'm just getting started. When you think I can't do anything else, sit back and watch, I'll surprise you again. I change, rearrange, and reinvent. No one can contain me, but you can try. You will fail. I will defeat you. You are predictable and boring, every move is foreseen and and already crushed. Try and beat me, you will fail. Everytime, you will fail. I am the unique enigma. One and only. Try and keep up, but you will get lost. I don't conform to anyone, including you. You can try and change me. You will fail. Good luck to you, but i will enjoy your demise. You will continusly be puzzled about me. Your thoughts will be consumed with trying to figure me out, but you never will. You will only fail. Try if you dare, give me another person to crush. You will never change anything, if you dont first change yourself. Even if you do, you'll never be like me. You'll never be as good as me. You will never be me. Good luck, but you will fail, and I will laugh.

Brad Pitt Hates Nazis: 'I want my scalps!'

Tarintino does it again!
I can not wait to go see this movie!!!!!

All Nightmare Long

All Nightmare Long: Metallica

Luck. Runs. Out.
Crawl from the wreckage one more time
Horrific memory twists the mind
Dark, rugged, cold and hard to turn
Path of destruction, feel it burn
Still life
Incarnation
Still life
Infamy

Hallucination
Heresy
Still you run, what's to come?
What's today?

'Cause we hunt you down without mercy
Hunt you down all nightmare long
Feel us breathe upon your face
Feel us shift, every move we trace
Hunt you down without mercy
Hunt you down all nightmare long, yeah
Luck. Runs.

You crawl back in
But your luck runs out

1.2.

Luck. Runs. Out.

The light that is not light is here
To flush you out with your own fear
You hide, you hide, but will be found
Release your crypt without a sound

Still life
Immolation
Still life
Infamy

Hallucination
Heresy
Still you run, what's to come?
What's today?

'Cause we hunt you down without mercy
Hunt you down all nightmare long
Feel us breathe upon your face
Feel us shift, every move we trace
Hunt you down without mercy
Hunt you down all nightmare long
Luck. Runs.

You crawl back in
But your luck runs out

Then you crawl back in
Into your obsession
Never to return
This is your confession

Hunt you down without mercy
Hunt you down all nightmare long
Feel us breathe upon your face
Feel us shift, every move we trace
Hunt you down without mercy
Hunt you down all nightmare long, yeah
Luck. Runs.

You crawl back in
But your luck runs out

Your luck runs out

Here's a link to the video...

http://www.metallica.com/index.asp?item=601688


ENJOY!!!!!! The video is awesome, it chills you somewhat....

Confucius says you will be ..........

If someone could predict the future and tell everyone what to do and not to do, this world would be boring. We would lead "perfect" lives without pit-falls, mistakes, weird circumstances, or even miracles, because we would know every aspect. Nothing would be left to chance, and we would never learn. We would go in the path that was pre-destined for us wether we liked it's direction or not. Life is supposed to kick us in the butt, and we are the ones who need to decide what to do about it, not some hocus-pocus prophet who believes that they are the portal to true happiness.

God gave us free will to use and serve him, to better our lives through Him. He didnt hand us the answers, He gives us hints. The bible is our road map and, yeah, we all detour, but in the end we find our way through Him. In a way, God knows we cant do this on our own, and if He were to give us all the answers, we would eventually lose Him. People complain that God does all these bad things, but we are the ones doing it. We turn our backs on Him, and He lets us learn from our mistakes, because He knows we cant do anything without Him. All of the bad is caused, one way or another, by us. We need to realize that. He never wanted this for us, He wanted an Eden for us to enjoy. We created this hell, and He is waiting for us to realize that. We all need to come to our senses and start changing this world, or soon we will all perish, without Him. Hell is real, He is telling us that we have a choice. We have a decision to make and He will show us the way, but WE must make the choice.
Hell is real. Are you going?
Heaven is real. Will you come with us?

STOPAIDS.ch

As some of ya'll know, I'm an AIDS activist. I believe that my generation has the knowledge to end the spread of the epidemic. I found a new website that I really love. It's called STOPAIDS.ch. It's swedish, so you can read it, but they have a game called "Catch the Sperm,"and you can find it by typing in the game name into Google. You can download free also.
Here's the download website I used...http://www.softpedia.com/get/Others/Home-Education/Catch-the-Sperm.shtml. It was super easy, and the game is pretty simple, but can get very challenging. It's worth a look.

Always use safe sex practices.
Be Safe. Be Informed.

Dark and Quiet

Have you ever sat in a dark, quiet room? What goes on in your head? Are you at peace? Do you feel calm and relaxed, or do you feel scared, helpless, and terribly alone? Do you feel as if the monsters in your dreams are suddenly real and present? Do you feel as if the world is crashing around you, and all you can do is sit as the room encloses and shrinks?

I feel as if I'm never alone. Kinda like I'm in the book 1984 by George Orwell, always being watched and monitored. Always. I can't sit on my bed at night without thinking, "Will it be okay to turn out the lights? Maybe tonight will be different..."

No, I'm not afraid of the dark, in fact, I love it. It hides our flaws in it's surrounding black curtains, keeping our little imperfections, our little embarrassments in a box that no eye can penetrate. I am, however, afraid of my thoughts. My own imagination frightens me. Sometimes I'll go to bed and be alright, but then as I lay down, my thoughts go rampant. Thoughts of death, questions without answers, and things happening that only happen in horror movies. My dreams as a little kid were along the lines of my house burning down as I'm watching my cousin drink gasoline in the garage. I had nightmares of my parents being werewolves folding clothes on our couch, and me awaking to them telling me that lunch would be ready soon. All of my dreams were unpleasant, morbid tales of grief and despair that usually left me waking to shocked to even utter a scream or even a word. Then suddenly, at about 15 years old, the dreams stopped. I could sleep all night, and not wake up gasping for air. It was as if someone had felt that I had deserved a break from the relentless dreams.

As I'm typing this, I'm sitting in a dark room with all of my fears and nightmares surrounding me. The zombies are under the bed and in my closet waiting for the right time to attack and gorge on my flesh. The ghosts and spirits are reading this blog as I'm typing it from the bedpost above my head. The cameras put up by Big Brother are swiveling and alerting the Thought Police of my crimes of free speech. Here I sit anyways, with all of my thoughts. I continue to sit in the pitch, continue to be wrapped in the curtains of the darkness. I'd rather sit here in the dark, than have to face all of my thoughts in the light.

Writing equals so much...

Writing is a big part of my life. It's how I explain thoughts that can't be explained in words. It's how I keep my thoughts from eating away at me. I feel so vulnerable once they're in words, but it's better than them stirring inside me waiting for the inopportune moment to jump out. I guess it's better to keep some inside, but then they build up like a soda that has been rolling around in your trunk for 3 days. Either way, writing is like breathing, without it, well, you know...

First Blog: May 1, 2008

Hi, I'm Ginna.
This blog is not going to be me complaining or talking trash.
This blog is going to be my thoughts over life and pretty much everything else.